马格努斯059 - 档案号#0052911 - 罗纳德·辛克莱

讲述其在牛津区山顶路某教习所度过的青少年岁月。

马格努斯档案馆本次讲述一个牛津区小阿飞的故事，住在教习所的他见证了某些诡异的事件…

（Art By Winston Gambro）
档案员 - 乔纳森·西姆斯
作者：乔纳森·西姆斯
导演：亚历山大·J·纽瓦尔
编辑: 亚历山大·J·纽瓦尔，迈克·勒博
翻译/字幕：赞福德Zaphod（贝克的小号）


2楼附文字版

This post has been edited by 贝克的小号: 2023-04-14, 09:42

马格努斯059 - 档案号#0052911 - 罗纳德·辛克莱

讲述其在牛津区山顶路某教习所度过的青少年岁月。

马格努斯档案馆本次讲述一个牛津区小阿飞的故事，住在教习所的他见证了某些诡异的事件…

档案员 - 乔纳森·西姆斯
作者：乔纳森·西姆斯
导演：亚历山大·J·纽瓦尔
编辑: 亚历山大·J·纽瓦尔，迈克·勒博
翻译/字幕：赞福德Zaphod

[CLICK]
[按钮声]
ARCHIVIST
档案员
Statement of Ronald Sinclair, regarding his years spent
in a teenage halfway house on Hill Top Road, Oxford.
罗纳德·辛克莱的叙述，讲述其在牛津区山顶路某教习所度过的青少年岁月。
Original statement given November 29th, 2005.
原叙述时间：2005年11月29日。
Audio recording by Jonathan Sims,
Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.
语音录入：乔纳森·西姆斯，伦敦马格努斯研究院档案馆馆长。
Statement begins.
叙述开始。

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
档案员（叙述）
I should have come in to tell you people about this before, really.
我早就该登门拜访，把整件事讲给你们听了，真的。
I heard about your institute back in the 80s,
早在80年代我就听说过你们研究院了，
and I thought, “should I tell them?” But I didn’t.
当时我就想，“也许该告诉他们吧？”但我并没有。
Thought you’d be all about old castles and ancient cairns,
not have any time for weird goings-on in a suburban house in Oxford.
我心想，你们大概只对古堡和古墓感兴趣，没空管牛津郊外发生的怪事。
And you’re academics as well so probably have more
rigorous standards than one crackpot’s horror story.
而且你们是搞学术的，我觉着你们根本看不上这种疯子嘴里的恐怖故事。

Still, I saw last week that they were planning to build on that land again.
可上周我发现他们又要在那块地皮上盖房。
Another house where the old Fielding place used to be.
曾经的菲尔丁宅邸，如今又要盖起新房子。
I don’t know, it’s not like you’d have any power to stop
the construction, but I just… I needed to tell someone about it.
我心里也没谱，你们也不可能有权终止建设，但我…我必须把事情说出来才行。
And you were less likely to throw me out on my ear than
the Planning Department of Oxford City Council.
而且，你们应该不至于像牛津市议会规划部一样把我轰出门外。

You see, I lived with Raymond Fielding for almost three years,
是这样，我和雷蒙德·菲尔丁一起住了两年多，
and believe me when I say that there is nothing good
that can come from disturbing that dreadful place.
相信我，惹到那个可怕的地方，是不会有好果子吃的。

I was a bad kid. I’ve cleaned up my act in the
40-odd years since, but back then I was a little thug.
我小时候是个坏孩子。四十多年来我已经改过自新，但小时候我是个不折不扣的混蛋。
Wasn’t entirely my fault – I came from a bad family.
这也不全是我的错，我的原生家庭很糟糕。
My father left before I was born,
父亲在我出生之前就抛弃了我们，
and I’m not sure how much you know
about single motherhood in the late 40s,
我不知道你是否了解40年代末的单身母亲独自抚养孩子有多难，
but it was clearly hard enough that my mother
ended up with a serious alcohol problem.
总之，困苦的生活让母亲染上了严重的酒瘾。

I won’t go into the gory details of my childhood,
童年的惨痛经历我不想深入描述，
but let’s just say it’s no surprise I was out
of school and in the system before my 13th birthday.
这么说吧，我不到13岁就顺理成章地辍学交由司法系统管理了。
They tried a few places to set me straight.
我在好几个少管所里住过。
Back then these sort of places weren’t quite as enlightened,
and the only life lesson I learned worth a damn was how to take a beating.
那个年代，这种地方可不像现在这么正规，我只学到一件事，那就是挨揍。

Finally, when I was 15, after the justice system was finished with me
for the third time, I was given the chance to reenter society,
15岁时，司法系统终于完成了对我的第三次管教，同意让我重入社会，
and offered a place at a halfway house on Hill Top Road.
他们在山顶路给我找了个过渡教习所。

It’s weird. I’ve tried to get information on it so many
times in the years since, but there’s nothing there.
事情很蹊跷。多年以来，我无数次搜集有关那个地方的信息，却一无所获。
It’s like it never existed.
就像那地方从未存在过一样。
I mean, this was a long way pre-digital,
and files got lost plenty, but it still bothers me.
当时数字化存储还远未普及，资料遗失的事件时有发生，但这依然让我觉得很古怪。
The most traumatic thing that ever happened to me, and as far as any
official record is concerned, I couldn’t have even been there.
我在那里经历了这辈子最可怕的创伤，但在官方资料系统中，我根本没在那里存在过。

Raymond Fielding was younger than I expected.
雷蒙德·菲尔丁比我想象的要年轻。
Every other place, the people in charge had been old, leathery moralists
with scowls on their faces and calluses on their knuckles.
我遇到过的教习所管事人都是满面怒容，满手老茧，满嘴仁义道德的糟老头。
A lot of ex-military types who would lecture for hours
不少管事人都是退伍军人，动不动就会花上几个小时，滔滔不绝地说教，
on how their wasted life had been saved by the
discipline of the army, and did their best to impose it on us.
告诉我们是军队的铁律挽救了他们颓废的生活，然后想方设法把铁律也加在我们身上。

Ray, as he insisted we call him, was different.
雷，他总让我们这么叫他，与其他人不同。
He couldn’t have been much older than 30,
他顶天也就30来岁，
and he let his brown hair grow long – not by today’s standards, I suppose,
他留着一头长发，以今天的标准来说算不上多长，
but it would have sent any of the crew-cut authoritarians into a red-faced rage.
但在当时，这发型已经足够让那些留着平头的专制管事人怒发冲冠了。
He was friendly and approachable, but didn’t
seem like he was trying to be our friend.
他很友善，而且平易近人，没有刻意要和我们结交的感觉。
He was easygoing and smiled a lot.
他性格平和，经常面露微笑。
But there was something in his eyes that made
me wary of trying to take advantage of him.
但他的眼神中有种东西，让我不敢轻举妄动。

I didn’t like him from the start.
我从一开始就不喜欢他。
The other adults I’d met on my journey through delinquency had been awful,
年少轻狂、目无法纪的我遇到的大部分成年人都是混蛋，
and they’d run the spectrum from drippy, patronizing
do-gooders to abusive thugs, but I’d always known.
不是油腻的老好人就是有暴力倾向的人渣，但我总能摸清他们的路数。
I would know what they were and where I stood with them.
我总能切准他们的脉，知道我们之间有什么利害。
Ray was a mystery, and that unsettled me.
雷却是个谜团，这让我感到很不安。
Still, he wasn’t too strict with our comings and goings,
and the other kids staying there seemed all right.
不过，他对我们的管教并不十分严厉，其他住在那里的孩子过的似乎都不错。
The one thing that surprised me was how
rare it was to see anyone come back.
有一件事让我感到十分惊讶：极少见到有人回来。
Most other halfway houses I’d stayed in, you always had some of the
older residents, those who had fallen into even worse criminal company,
coming back occasionally, usually to sell drugs or do some recruiting.
我呆过的大部分教习所门口总有些走上犯罪道路的大孩子回来卖违禁品或是招收小弟。

Amphetamines were the thing back in the early 60s,
60年代早期，苯丙胺一度非常盛行，
so I was surprised when I moved into Hill Top Road and
there wasn’t a purple Heart or a black bomber to be found.
意料之外的是，搬到山顶路后，我发现这里根本看不到那些紫色黑色的小药丸。
It didn’t seem like any alumni of Ray’s little family came back for a visit.
看起来，从雷的小家庭毕业的孩子从不会回来探望。

At the time, I just assumed it was a pretty nice neighborhood,
so probably wasn’t the sort of place my kind
– as I thought of it then – made a habit of visiting.
当时我想当然的以为，一定是这里的治安比较好，因此像我这样的人很少光顾。
I wasn’t wrong. The local residents hated us.
我想的倒也没错。当地居民恨我们恨得牙根痒痒。
We never really got into any proper trouble, but the sort of glares we got just
for smoking on the street made me want to break a window sometimes.
我们没惹过大麻烦，但就算在街上抽根烟都会遭白眼，有时候我真想把他们窗户砸了。

I never did, though. I’m… not quite sure why I didn’t to be honest.
但我从没这么做过。说实话我…也不知道为什么。
Before I met Ray, I would have. There
were plenty of broken windows in my past.
认识雷以前，我肯定会出手砸玻璃的。这种事我可没少干过。
There was something about living there, though, that dulled the urge.
但住在那里的时候，我的冲动似乎被某种东西淡化了。

My memories of a lot of my time there are, well, not exactly foggy,
but feel almost like I’m watching someone else’s memories.
在那里的许多记忆，嗯，虽说不上模糊，却像是从旁观者的角度观看别人的回忆一样。
I remember that it sometimes felt like I’d do
things without actually deciding to do them.
我记得有时我会感到做事不受控制。
Like it was just muscle memory moving me, or a string gently guiding me.
就像是被自己的肌肉记忆控制，或是被提线牵引着一样。

It was never bad or dangerous stuff, just… things
I wouldn’t normally have done, like brushing my teeth.
每次都不是坏事，或是危险的事，只是…我平时不会主动做的事，比如刷牙。
I’m glad for it now I’ve passed 60,
如今，作为一个60多岁的老人，我对此十分感恩，
and teeth have stopped being something I take for granted.
毕竟我已经知道有一口牙并不是天经地义的事。
But at 15 the thought never even crossed my mind.
但15岁时的我从来不会动刷牙的念头。
But when I lived on Hill Top Road, I cleaned them every night, up and down
and side to side, my arm moving like I didn’t even need to think about it.
可住在山顶路时我每晚都刷牙，从上到下，从左到右，两条胳膊不假思索地往复运动。

The other kids living there were the same.
其他孩子也是一样。
At least, I think they were.
至少，我觉得他们也是这个状态。
I remember them being kind of dull – not that they were boring, exactly;
we’d spend time together, and smoke and play games and the like.
我记得他们都挺呆板的，倒不是说他们很无趣；我们常在一起吸烟玩游戏之类的。
But there was something about them. As though there were
some things that they said and did without anything behind them.
但他们身上有点不对劲。他们有些话和行为似乎是无意识的。

Occasionally, there’d be flashes of something.
偶尔我们也会做些事情。
Like the time me and Dick Barrowdale snuck out
after dark and set Mr. Hainsley’s bins on fire.
比如有一次我和迪克·巴罗代尔天黑之后溜出去把海恩斯利先生的垃圾箱给点着了。
But mostly they were quiet, almost placid.
但绝大部分时间里，其他孩子都很安静，甚至有些木讷。
I’m sure they’d have said the same things about me,
but at the time, nothing seemed amiss.
我敢肯定，他们眼中的我一定也是如此，但当时这一切都显得再正常不过。
I did what I did because it was what I was supposed to do.
我只是按部就班地做着该做的事。
It never struck me to question it.
从没想过要提出质疑。
I’m not sure I really recognize who I became while living at that house.
我不知道自己有没有意识到，住在那里让我发生了怎样的变化。

I did take up reading, though.
不过，我养成了看书的习惯。
There was a shop down in Kerry that kept a bucket of old pulp magazines
marked down to 6 pence because they weren’t the latest issue.
克里那边有家商店，过期的三流杂志6便士一本，成桶成桶的卖。
I used to spend whatever money I had down there,
and then I’d sit under the tree in the back garden
and read them cover to cover, over and over again.
当时我经常把所有的钱都用来买杂志，然后坐在后花园的树底下反复研读。
They were daft, really, but I loved them.
其实那些杂志都挺没意思的，但当时我很喜欢。
In the summer, with the leaves giving you just enough shade to
keep cool, I’d say I was happier than I’d ever been before then.
坐在树荫下读书，即使是夏天也不会很热，这是那段时光里最让我快活的事。

For the most part, Ray seemed content to stay out
of our hair and leave us to our own devices.
大多数时候，雷似乎都乐于对我们放任自流。
He had his own study in the basement, where he spent almost all his time,
and usually trusted one of us to go to the grocer’s for food and sundries.
他绝大部分时间都呆在地下室的书房里，买东西这种杂事交给我们他也放心。
Aside from church, which he made us attend
with him every Sunday, he rarely went out at all.
除了每周日要求我们一起去教堂之外，他很少离开书房。
Occasionally, one of the other residents of the neighborhood
would overcome their distaste for us long enough to
ask how Ray was keeping, and whether he was well.
偶尔也会有某个邻居忍下对我们的厌恶，前来询问雷过得怎么样。

I gradually got the sense that, with the exception of the teenagers
staying at his house, Raymond Fielding was something of a recluse.
慢慢地，我有一种感觉，虽然雷蒙德·菲尔丁
家里住了不少青少年，但他其实算得上是个隐士。
A well-liked recluse, certainly, but to see him leave the house
on any day other than a Sunday was quite a remarkable thing.
当然，他是个声誉极佳的隐士，但在礼拜日
之外的任何一天看到他出门都称得上是件奇事。

Aside from church, there was one other regular
activity that he always insisted we take part in.
除了去教堂之外，还有一件事，他一直要求我们参与。
We generally ate our meals in the dining room
– which was a bit cramped sometimes, as, when full,
一般我们都在餐厅吃饭，人多的时候那地方还是挺挤的，
there were eight of us in the house aside
from Ray, and the table was barely big enough.
除了雷之外，家里还有八个孩子，那张桌子也就将将满足需要。

On Sunday evenings, however, we’d all gather for the evening meal,
每到礼拜日晚上，我们都要一起吃晚餐，
and before we sat down to eat, he would remove the bright white
tablecloth that covered it, and we’d gather around the dark wood.
开饭前他总会把亮白色的桌布掀开，让我们聚在黑木桌子周围。
I remember it was carved in all sorts of strange swirling designs and patterns.
我记得那木头桌子上刻满了奇怪的扭曲花纹。
It felt like if you picked a line, any line,
you could follow it through to the center,
感觉不论盯着哪花纹，都能一路通到桌子正中，
to some deep truth, if only your eye could
keep track of the strands that had caught it.
仿佛如果能稳稳盯住那些线条，就可以找到某种深邃的真相。

The center of the table looked, at first,
like it was simply part of the wooden top,
起初，桌子表面看着像是一体的，
but if you looked closely, as I did so often, you could see an outline
marking the very middle as a small, square box, carved with patterns
just like the ones that laced their way over the rest of the table.
但如果你像我一样经常仔细观察的话，就会发现桌子正中
有一个小盒子，上面刻着的线条跟桌上的花纹如出一辙。
I don’t remember how long we sat around the table those evenings,
nor do I have any memory of what we might have eaten.
我不记得周日晚上我们会在桌子旁坐上多久，也不记得我们吃的是什么。

So I passed a couple of years in relative peace.
总之，我过了几年相对平静的日子。
I actually studied, stayed mostly out of trouble,
我甚至潜下心学习了，也没怎么惹麻烦，
and, as my 18th birthday approached, it looked like I might
be able to find someone to teach me a decent trade.
迎来18岁生日时，我觉得或许能找个人传我一门正经手艺。
At that point, I was the oldest there by a few months,
the others having left the house as they each turned 18 in turn.
我比其他孩子大几个月，那时已是家里的老大，其他满18岁的孩子都已陆续离开。
A suited man would come around – though, rarely the same one twice –
每次都有个西装男登门拜访，不过，几乎每次来的都不是同一个人
Ray would sign some papers, and my former house sibling
would head out the door and into the wide world.
雷会和对方签署一些文件，接着我那些满18岁的兄弟就可以去看外面的世界了。
I didn’t see them after that, but at the time I didn’t really think anything of it.
自那之后，我再也没见过他们，但当时我没把这当回事。
I assumed they were too busy trying to survive
in a world that I had always considered deeply hostile.
我总觉得他们一定是疲于生活才顾不上回来，毕竟外面是个险恶的世界。

Agnes came to the house two months before
my birthday, in the middle of winter.
那年冬天，我过生日前两个月，艾格尼丝来了。
Ray had never mentioned her, never held
one of his little meetings to introduce her.
雷从来没有提起过她，也没有给她开欢迎会之类的。
She was just suddenly in the house one day,
and no one really thought to question it.
总之有一天，她就这么在家里出现了，所有人都没有过问。
She was younger than the other kids, maybe
ten or eleven years old. Didn’t talk much.
她比其他小孩更小一些，大概十岁或者十一岁。不怎么爱说话。
She had a small, sharp face, and long brown hair,
always braided into two tight pigtails, which she would
twirl around her fingers whenever you tried to talk to her.
她小脸尖尖的，一头棕色长发总是梳成双马尾，和人说话时总把辫子绕在手上。
I’ll admit, she was a bit spooky, looking back on it,
我承认，现在回想起来，不免觉得她有点吓人，
but to be honest at the time I never really questioned it,
the same way I never really questioned any of it.
但说实话，当时我对任何事情都很少思考，自然也没想过这事。

She never came to church, though. Never sat
around the dinner table when it was uncovered.
不过，她从来不去教堂。那张木餐桌揭开桌布时，她也不会去那里吃饭。
Whenever Ray came in the room and she was in there,
he would often just turn around and leave.
雷进屋时，如果她也在屋里，雷往往会转身离开。
And once, I could have sworn that he looked at her with something
in his eyes that, even in my dull state, I recognized as fear.
有一次，即便是脑子混混沌沌的我都敢确定，他看她的眼神里有一种恐惧。

I was so focused on my upcoming emancipation that
I didn’t pay much attention to these developments,
我当时满心只想着独立，没有关注事情的发展，
and I can’t tell you much more about Agnes,
or what she did with her time in the house.
关于艾格尼丝，以及她在家里的所作所为，我所知不多。
All I know is that, when the man from the
Children’s Committee came with the papers for Ray to sign,
我只记得，儿童委员会的人拿着文件来找雷签字时，
she was standing at the bottom of the stairs, watching
me with an expression that looked almost playful.
她站在楼梯下面，用一种近乎戏谑的表情看着我。

Ray signed the documents to remand me fully back to state custody.
雷签好文件，我的监护权便归还给国家了。
The age of majority back then was twenty-one, but from eighteen
I was expected to be finding work and accommodation on my own.
当时的法定成年年龄还是21岁，但按照习俗18岁后我就得自己找工作和住处了。
It was all a bit surreal, watching pens sign my life into
its different stages without holding any of them myself.
旁观他人用几只钢笔把我的生命划入下一个阶段，感觉很不真实。

As the man in the suit told me to follow him in a clipped BBC accent,
那个西装男让我跟他走，他的声音简直是从BBC里跳出来的，
Agnes walked over, and gestured for me to lean down and listen to her.
艾格尼丝走过来，挥手示意她有话要说。
I did so, but instead of a conspiratorial whisper,
我弯下身子，本以为她会压低声音告诉我某些阴谋秘密，
she just gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, then ran off down the hall.
而她只是在我脸上轻轻亲了一下，然后就跑回大厅里了。
I stood there for a moment, confused, before my temporary
guardian once again instructed me to follow him.
我一时没反应过来，在原地站了一会，直到我的临时监护人再次叮嘱我该走了。

I did so, and the cold air of the outside hit me like a slap across the face.
于是我跟着他走出门，屋外的冷风扑面而来，脸上感觉像被打了一个耳光。
We walked for a few minutes to the end of the road, and I felt
as though my meager suitcase was almost frozen to my hand.
我们走到路的尽头，不过几分钟时间，我的手都快粘在简陋的手提箱上了。
He told me to wait there while he brought his
car around, then disappeared down a side street.
他说他去开车，让我在原地等一会儿，然后就拐进一条小路消失了。

I stood there as the bitter wind cut through my thin coat.
我杵在那里，任由冷风像刀子一样穿透单薄的大衣。
The sun was out, but it didn’t do much to soften
the sharpness of the February air as I waited.
我等啊等啊，虽然天上挂着太阳，但二月份的冷空气依然锐利如刀。

Then, without warning, I wasn’t waiting anymore.
接着，毫无预兆地，我不等了。
I had turned around, put down my suitcase,
and started walking back toward Raymond Fielding’s house.
我转过身，放下手提箱，沿原路朝雷蒙德·菲尔丁的房子走去。
I didn’t want to go back.
我不想回去的。
I had no reason to go back, but I had apparently decided to,
anyway, because I knew that’s where I was going.
我没有回去的理由，但我还是做出了这个决定，我知道那儿就是我的目的地。

After two and a half years, I was rather used to this feeling,
but there was something else there this time.
两年半以来，我对这种感觉已经有些习惯了，但这次却与以往不同。
Something in the back of my mind, a frantic, scuttling terror.
我的脑海深处，有一种狂躁而疯狂的恐惧。
It didn’t do any good, though. I was returning
to Hill Top Road, no matter what I might feel about it.
不过这种恐惧于事无补。不管内心有什么波澜，我依然没有停下返回山顶路的脚步。
Choice didn’t even come into it.
我甚至没有任何选择的余地。

The door was unlocked when I returned, and the house was quiet.
我回去时，房门是开着的，屋子里一片安静。
My eyes darted around, looking for anyone who
might be able to tell me what was going on,
我四处打量着，想找个人问问这到底是什么情况，
why the fine threads that pulled me through my
life had dragged me back here. But I was alone.
为什么人生的提线又把我带回这里。但我却是孤身一人。
I walked over to the door that led down into the basement, into Ray’s study,
我走到地下室门前，这里是雷的书房，
and I was suddenly struck by the realization that nobody
other than him had ever gone inside. At least, not to my knowledge.
我突然意识到，除了他本人以外，任何人都没进去过。至少我没见有人进去过。

Nonetheless, I reached up and turned the handle, twisted silently,
and the door swung open, revealing a set of stairs leading down.
可我还是伸出手，无声地转动门把，打开屋门，发现门后是一段向下的楼梯。
Lightbulbs in spherical lampshades lit the way,
墙上挂着球形灯罩，灯泡照亮了向下的路，
and the thought struck me that, given how much time Ray
spent down here, it was surprising how many cobwebs there were.
我突然想到，雷明明经常待在书房里，可这地方的蜘蛛网却多得离谱。

They covered every corner, and lightly coated part of the walls.
到处都是蜘蛛网，有些地方的墙上甚至盖着薄薄一层。
As I headed down the stairs, closing the door behind me, I saw even more,
我关上身后的门沿楼梯向下走去，发现蛛网越来越多，
and came to the unsettling realization that what covered the bare bulbs
were not in fact lampshades, but were instead thick clumps of cobweb.
我惊恐地发现，包裹灯泡的不是灯罩，而是一层厚厚的蜘蛛网。

The sight that greeted me when I finally reached the bottom of the stairs
was about as far from what I had expected as it could possibly have been.
走完楼梯，眼前的景象已经快要超出我想象力的极限。
Rather than a study filled with books, papers, desks,
or the like, the room was large, and almost empty.
书房很大，但是里面没有书桌、纸张，也没有书，屋里几乎空无一物。
The walls and ceiling were bare earth,
and it looked more like a burrow than anything else.
墙壁和天花板都是裸露的泥土，这地方让人感觉更像个巢穴。

In the center of the room stood that strange hypnotic table, though how
he had gotten the heavy wooden thing down here was beyond me.
房间正中放着那张让摄人心魄的诡异桌子，我不知道他是怎么把沉重的木桌搬下来的。
The whole place was covered with a thick gossamer of spider’s web,
and in the thick clumps around the edges of the chamber I saw shapes I recognised.
整个房间铺满了厚厚的蛛网，我发现四周的蛹状物有些熟悉。
Doris Hardy. Dick Barrowdale. Greg Montgomery.
The older ones who had left the house before I had.
多丽丝·哈迪。迪克·巴罗代尔。格雷格·蒙哥马利。都是在我之前离开家的大孩子。

They lay still now, wrapped in their sticky cocoons.
他们一动不动地躺着，裹在蛛网包成的茧中。
Their bodies seemed warped and bloated in a way I didn’t recognize.
他们的身体扭曲肿胀，这种情景我一辈子也没见过。
But that’s only because at that point in my life,
I had never before seen a spider egg sac.
但那是因为，年少的我还没见过蜘蛛卵。

In the chair sat Raymond Fielding.
坐在椅子上的正是雷蒙德·菲尔丁。
He looked the same as ever, that placid, unreadable smile still on his face.
他看起来和往常一样，脸上依然挂着那平静而又高深莫测的笑容。
His brown leather coat seemed to shift around his body.
他的棕色皮衣似乎在不停地变形。
The texture in the dim light seemed more like coarse fur.
昏暗的灯光下，衣服的材质看起来像是粗糙的毛皮。

He didn’t say anything, just watched as
I continued to make my way towards the table.
他没开口，只是看着我一步又一步地走向那张桌子。
For all the terror strangling my heart at that moment
at the discovery of the grotesque fate of my friends,
我的心中充满恐惧，万万没想到朋友们竟遭遇了如此悲惨的命运，
I could still feel the bland, uncaring expression on my face, and found
myself stood in front of the table as though nothing whatsoever was wrong.
但我知道，我脸上还是挂着一副无所谓的表情，像没事人一样站在桌子前面。

I reached over and pulled the wooden square from the center of the table.
我俯下身，从桌子正中抽出木头方块。
On its own, it appeared to be a small wooden box, and the lid
opened smoothly, as my hands moved in a practiced motion.
原来那小方块是个木盒，不知为何我的手法十分熟练，盒子顺滑地打开了。
Inside was an apple, green and fresh and still wet with morning dew.
盒子里有个新鲜的绿苹果，上面还沾着晨露。

I knew I was going to eat it. I could feel tears desperately trying to
push themselves out of my eyes, but I instead decided not to cry.
我知道我会把苹果吃掉。我能感到眼泪在眼眶里使劲打转，可我却决定不哭。
I placed the box down on the table, reached over, and picked up the apple.
我把盒子放在桌子上，伸手取出了苹果。

All at once, my cheek erupted in pain. It was like
someone had pressed a hot branding iron into my face,
突然间，我的脸颊传来一阵爆炸似的疼痛，就像有人把烙铁按在上面一样，
and I could swear that I heard the flesh sizzle
as I let out a scream and fell to my knees.
我大叫一声跪倒在地，我敢确定脸上传来了皮肉烧焦的声音。

I raised my hands to my face and realized in
that moment two very important things.
我连忙伸手捂脸，这时我突然意识到两件事。
The first is that my face seemed to be
untouched; I could feel no injury or burn.
第一，我的脸似乎毫发无损，没有伤口也没有烧伤。
The second was that raising my hand had been a truly voluntary act.
第二，抬手完全出自我的自愿。
I had willed it myself, and whatever power had been
gripping me, tugging me into its web, I was free of it.
是我自己想要抬手的，那股牵着我自投罗网的力量消失了，我不受它控制了。

I looked at Raymond Fielding, whose face finally had a
real expression on it – one of confusion and anger.
我看了看雷蒙德·菲尔丁，他的脸上终于有了表情：那是一种夹杂着困惑的愤怒。
As he stood up, I saw small, twitching
shapes tumbling out of his jacket, and I ran.
他站起身子，我看到有些细小的东西抖动着钻出他的夹克，我连忙拔腿就跑。
I ran up those stairs, out the door, and away into the night.
我跑上楼梯，跑出屋门，跑进夜色之中。
I didn’t look back, and to this day, I pray every night
that the others down in the basement were already dead.
我没有回头，直到今天，我每天夜里都会祈祷，
祈祷地下室里的其他孩子当时已经死了。

That’s it, really.
故事到这里差不多就结束了，真的。
Within two hours, I was out of Oxford, on the first train I could jump onto.
我第一时间就胡乱跳上了一列火车，不到两个小时就离开了牛津地界。
I jumped off at Birmingham to avoid a ticket inspector.
为了逃票，我又在伯明翰跳车。
And that’s where I spent the next several years.
接下来几年我一直呆在伯明翰。
Given my start in life, I’ve done very well for myself.
考虑到我的出身，我后来混得算是很不错了。
I now have comfort, education, and money.
我现在日子过得很滋润，拥有良好的经济能力，也得到了受教育的机会。
I try to think that I’ve left my past behind,
but that sort of denial doesn’t help me sleep.
我试图告诉自己，过去已经过去，但这种视而不见的态度并不能让我在夜里安睡。
I only had my first truly restful night since that day after
reading about the fire that burned the house to the ground.
在报纸上读到那座房子被大火烧毁后，我才第一次睡了个安稳觉。

But now they’re building there.
可现在他们又要在那块地皮上大兴土木了。
They’re breaking ground that should be left burned and empty.
那地方就应该一直是一片焦土。
And I’ve started to dream again.
我又开始做梦了。

ARCHIVIST
档案员
Statement ends.
叙述结束。

Mr. Sinclair was not exaggerating when he described the difficulties of
tracking down information on any youth halfway house in Hill Top Road.
辛克莱先生所言非虚，山顶路青少年教习所的相关信息确实极难查到。
Or Raymond Fielding more generally.
或者说，任何与雷蒙德·菲尔丁相关的信息都是如此。

While I am naturally inclined to suspect conspiracy, Martin informs
me that the nature of the gaps look like lost or damaged files.
我立刻怀疑这背后一定有阴谋，但马丁告诉我，这似乎完全是文件损耗的结果。
There are whole swathes of records missing from that period, not only
related to Fielding, but many other similar institutions in the area.
难查的不只是菲尔丁，山顶路及附近区域所有教习所那段时期的资料都有大量缺失。
There’s no attempt to cover up or redirect it, either.
而且资料缺失这件事，也没有任何掩饰的痕迹。
It just looks like whichever cabinet housed those
records got lost or damaged in the years since.
看起来，整件事似乎只是某个文件柜丢失或者损毁导致的。

I have done my best to prevent Martin
reading this statement in too much detail.
我好不容易才没让马丁仔细阅读这份叙述。
I have no interest in having another argument about spiders.
我可不想再因为蜘蛛的事吵上一架。
In fact, after reading this statement, I have no interest in
thinking about spiders any more than is professionally required.
事实上，读过这份叙述后，除非工作需要，我真的不想再琢磨与蜘蛛有关的事了。

It raises further questions about the relationship
between Raymond Fielding and this Agnes.
这份叙述让我对雷蒙德·菲尔丁和这个艾格尼丝的关系有了更多的疑问。
I can only hope some answers lie elsewhere in the Archives.
只能希望在档案馆的其它地方找到答案了。
I wouldn’t be surprised.
我真的已经见怪不怪了。
Between Ronald Sinclair, Ivo Lensik, and Father Burroughs,
it appears there’s still much to learn about Hill Top Road.
综合罗纳德·辛克莱、伊沃·伦西克和伯劳斯神父的叙述，看来山顶路还藏着许多谜团。

End recording.
录音结束。

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ARCHIVIST
档案员
Supplemental.
补充说明。

Everyone’s avoiding me.
所有人都在躲着我。
They’ve taken to working farther away from me than normal, and when I
call them for any reason, they’re always keen to leave as soon as possible.
他们工作时都刻意与我保持距离，就算我叫他们来找我，他们也会找借口迅速离开。
They share furtive glances when they think I’m not looking.
他们以为我没注意看的时候，还会交换鬼鬼祟祟的眼神。
I don’t like it.
我不喜欢这种感觉。
I feel like they’re planning something.
我感觉他们在搞鬼。

End supplemental.
补充完毕。

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This post has been edited by 贝克的小号: 2023-04-14, 09:42